Where Have You Been All My Life
by quinntanasarfati
Summary: Marley is at a nightclub after being set up with Brittany's cousin. However her attention is turned elsewhere when she meets the bartender, Ryder Lynn. Neither of them know that it'll turn into something special. An AU fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

**Marley's P.O.V**

"Marley hurry up, we need to get down to the club now!" I heard Santana shout, "I'm coming" I shouted back. I took one final look in the mirror before walking down the stairs to see Santana's angry expression. "What?" I said. "We're going to be late. I promised Brittany I wouldn't leave her waiting." "And you won't Santana" I replied. "I cant believe you convinced me to go on a date with some random." I said angry. "He's not just some random he's Brittany's cousin so be nice" "whatever" I said. We got into the taxi and Santana wouldn't stop fussing over me. "Is that all?" She said, "what?" Oblivious to what she was talking about. "Let me sort out this top for you" she said whilst trying to get more cleavage on show, I frowned before looking up to see the taxi driver staring. "Do you mind?" I shouted at him and he suddenly focused his eyes back on the road. Santana let out a giggle, "you're too mean Marls" I shot the cab driver another death glare.

"There. Perfect, he wont be able to keep his eyes off of them." She said proudly. "Thanks" I said giving an appreciative smile. This dude better be hot. After all I don't get dressed up like this for no one. I had my long beautiful brown hair in curls that fell down below my chest. I was wearing a black cami top with a metallic skirt that stopped just below the knee and black high heels.

"We're here!" She exclaimed. She paid the driver before she went to my side and we walked straight into the club. This was the best part about being best friends with Ms Santana Lopez. She knew the best clubs in the city and knew how to worm her way in. We went straight into the V.I.P section and saw Brittany and what I assumed was Harrison. I think I'm going to be sick! He was like a human ken doll! Me and Santana finally got over to him and Brittany and he stood up and pressed a kiss to my hand. "Nice to finally meet you Marley" he whispered to me as if he trying to be alluring. I almost gagged at the smell of his breath. This was going to be a long night…

"So tell me something about yourself" He said. "There's really not much to say" I replied not knowing where to look. I had been stuck with this guy for 45 minutes now and it didn't help that Santana and Brittany went off to suck each others faces off. "What do you do for a living?" He asked, "I'm at university" I said vacantly, "what are you studying?" "Veterinary medicine… You?" I asked. "Nothing. Mom does everything for me?" He joked. "You still live with your mom?" I said shocked he was 27 years old and he lives with his mom. "Yeah… But I mean y'know I don't have a curfew and I can bring over girls whenever I want" He shot me a wink. I've had enough of this, "Do you know what I'm sorry this was a mistake." I said before grabbing my purse and walking into the bathroom wondering where Santana and Brittany got too. I heard moans coming from one of the cubicles. "Oh god Brittany, yeah faster, harder" my mouth formed in an 'O' expression as I realised that was the sound of Santana. I exited the bathroom immediately. I walked straight to the bar and looked around the club to see Harrison trying to grind up on some girl only for her to turn around and pour her drink over him. I giggled before turning to face the bar. "What can I get you?" The bartender asked I looked up to meet his face. God he was sexy. "Whatever you recommend…" I looked down at his name tag, "Ryder." He gave a smirk before turning around to make me my drink. He leaned over picking something up from the floor, giving me a view of his butt. I gave a small smile. I guess tonight is going to be fun.

"A white wine for a gorgeous girl " he said before he shot me a wink."Are you not going to join me?" I said innocently, "I'm working" he said back. "When do you get off work?" I asked, "20 minutes" "Perfect" I said seductively.

**Ryder's P.O.V**

God this girl was beautiful, she was hot and beautiful. Tonight was going to be good. I finally got off behind the bar and joined the girl who's name was still unknown to me. "You never did tell me your name." I said to her, "Marley, Marley Rose" she replied.

We talked for a little longer before we went to the dance floor. She then started to grind on me, fuck yes! The bouncer then came to us, "leave space for Jesus you two." We ignored the bouncer and went back to each other . She had her arms around me and before I knew it we were both leaning in. We heard wolf whistles from around us as we made out. "Shall we go somewhere more private" she whispered seductively in my ear. INSTANT HARD ON. I nodded and followed her out the club. She managed to hail a taxi in seconds. This was my dream girl.

The minute she got the keys into her apartment we headed straight for upstairs.

"Where were we?" she questioned and I gave a small smirk. She reattached her mouth to mine and then I opened my mouth so she could find my tongue. Minutes after she reached for the buttons on my shirt and ended up ripping the shirt in the process. She then reattached her lips to mine whilst running her finger up and down my chest. I moaned in the process. I then moved down to kiss her neck whilst taking off her dress. She moaned loudly, "Ry" she whispered. I then undid her bra and I grabbed hold of her left breast. "Fuck Ryder!" I smirked at how weak she was for me. She then got on her knees and unbuckled my belt and pulled my pants off in the process. "Think you can last more than one round?" She teased whilst stroking me through my boxers, I groaned at the feeling. "Definitely" I said before bringing her back up to eye level and kissing her passionately. She then pulled me on the bed taking off my boxers and removing her underwear. Her mouth formed an 'O' expression at my size. I went down on her, making sure she was wet enough. I kissed her inner thigh and she inhaled deeply. I smirked at her. I then buried my tongue in her and she moaned loudly. I then flicked my tongue against her clit. Teasing her.

I then went back up positioning the head on her. I went in slowly letting her walls adjust and she nodded to let me know that I could move. I started to go faster. Not too fast though. I wanted to savour the moment. "Oh fuck" she cursed.

"More. Fuck. Ryder. Harder!" She exclaimed and I went faster making us rock the bed. Minutes later she climaxed and continued to ride me whilst I found my orgasm. We then cuddled in bed, "that's the best sex I've ever had" I exclaimed. God what was wrong with me? You don't say things like that.

**Marley's P.O.V**

I giggled at his words before I started to stroke him, "are you ready for round 2?" I asked. He groaned, "I'll take that as a yes" I then started to crawl down the bed making my way down to his member. I grabbed him and started to pump him fast. "Oh fuck Marley!" I then put my mouth around his cock and he groaned. I started to bob my head up and down. My hands went down to stroke his balls and the rest of his member that I couldn't fit in my mouth because of his length. He groaned loudly before he came, shooting four loads of cum down my throat. I swallowed before going back up to kiss him intensely.

BEST NIGHT EVER! Where had he been all my life?

**Ryder's P.O.V**

We definitely need to do this more often. Where has this girl been all my life. We then lasted 2 more rounds before we fell asleep.

**Marley's P.O.V**

I woke up the next morning with surprisingly a mild hangover. I stirred quietly trying not to wake Ryder up. I looked over at him and smiled. Last night was amazing! I thought to myself. I then got out of bed and put on a shirt and some panties before I went downstairs to make a coffee for us. I was greeted downstairs by roommate Rachel, who was smiling wildly at me "what?" I asked, "heard you got lucky last night" she laughed. "Who told you?" I asked, "no I literally heard it." She joked. "Oh my god Rachel, it was literally the best night of my life." "What was he like?" "So big" I exclaimed. "I meant personality wise" Rachel said. "Yeah he is so sweet yet so hot and sexy at the same time. Y'know he's studying to be a paramedic. How awesome is that?" I said. I don't know why I was acting like this. I only knew him 5 minutes and he was already making me feel like a lovesick teenager and I never felt about anyone that way not even in high school.

Me and Rachel raved about him for 5 more minutes before I took the cups of coffee back to my room. He was awake and looking around the room for something, "I wondered where you got too" he said smiling. I gave him his coffee and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Looking for something?" I questioned, "I can't find my boxers" he said frowning before he found them and put them on and joined me on the bed. "I really enjoyed last night" he said, "me too" I replied, "I'd love to do it again sometime" he whispered into my ear,before going down to press sweet kisses on my neck. I moaned quietly. I grabbed his cup of coffee and put it to the side with mine before turning my attention back to Ryder. I gave him a slow sweet kiss, I looked at the clock to see if we had time and groaned. "I'm really sorry, I have to go to work soon. I work all the way in-" "Brooklyn" we both said, "you told me last night" he said. I smiled at the fact that he remembered. "I should probably get going anyway" he said, picking up his shirt, to see that it had a giant rip on it. "Sorry about that" I said innocently, he just laughed. "My roommate always has her boyfriend over, I'll see if theres anything to wear from him" I said my cheeks burning red because of the rip I caused on his shirt.

I came back into my room to hand him the shirt. The shirt was tight on him and I bit my lip at his defined chest. I showed him out, "Thanks for an awesome night" he said once again, I leaned up to give a passionate kiss. "I think should be the one thanking you." "I was wondering if you wanted to do this again sometime?" He asked, "I'd love to" I whispered in his ear. "Tomorrow night at Franchia?" "Sounds good" I smiled at him. "You've got my number" I said, he took my cheek in his hand "I'll see you tomorrow night" he said before he gave me slow sweet kiss. I locked the door and squealed like a little girl on christmas morning before I went to go get ready for work.

**Ryder's P.O.V**

I walked into my apartment still smiling from what happened in the past 12 hours, "someone got lucky" My best friend, Sam said. "shut up man" I laughed at him before going into the shower to get ready for the day.

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Please leave reviews:) I want to know what people think

Natasha x


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm introducing a OC called Ally in this chapter**

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**Marley's P.O.V**

"Sorry I'm late, Louis. It won't happen again." I said apologetically to my manager as I walked to my side of the counter. "This is the third time in the past 2 weeks Marley. This is your last chance" he said sternly. "I won't screw up this time, I promise" I gave a small smile and he gave me an unimpressed look before walking into the staff room. I rolled my eyes before putting my apron on and collecting stained coffee mugs.

My best friend of 3 years, Ally walked in and I flashed her a smile. Ally was my only friend from high school. She was one of my best friends. Ally's hair was dark brown and she had a pixie haircut. She walked in confidently before coming over to me with a small smirk on her face. "What?" I asked, "A little birdy told me you rocked the house last night with a mystery man" She sniggered. "I'm going to kill Rachel" I joked. "Usual?" I asked Ally about her coffee and she nodded. I started to pour her coffee whilst we continued to talk. "Seriously though Al, he was so charming and, god he was amazing!" I whispered to her so that Louis couldn't hear us. "I know this'll sound crazy but I really think this could be more than just a one night stand. I'm meeting him tomorrow for dinner" She smiled at me, "well as long as your happy" "you did use protection last night right?" she asked her voice full of concern, "I'm on the pill, relax Ally" I laughed at her worried expression. Louis then came back into the main area. "There you go Ms a decaf black coffee and a skinny blueberry muffin" I said with a fake tone in my voice, trying to show Louis I was taking the job 'seriously' "thank you" she replied. "Have a nice day" I smiled at her before going over to clear some tables. "Keep up the good work Miss Rose" Louis said in a patronising tone. I could only smile at him.

I had been working for over 2 hours now. I say working, there's nothing to work on. This place is actually dead. "Louis I'm going for my smoke break" I said whilst peaking my head into the staff room. Before he could say no, I exited the room quickly so that I could avoid his whining. I grabbed my cigarettes, lighter and my phone. As soon as my cigarette was lit and I started puffing, I got out my phone to see if I had any texts. I had received a text from Santana reading: 'I CAN'T BELIVE YOU LEFT HARRISON ON HIS OWN LAST NIGHT. HE WAS SO UPSET. YOU'RE ASS IS MINE ROSE!' I rolled my eyes before I exited the conversation and saw that a text had just came through with no name. I frowned before opening the text. 'I really enjoyed your company last night;) Did you want me to pick you up at 7 tomorrow night?xx' I blushed at the text and added Ryder's number before replying, 'I enjoyed yours too, maybe if you play your cards right tomorrow night you'll get lucky again;) 7 is perfect xx' I sent the text before I took another drag from my cigarette.

I took the final drag from my cigarette before I stumped it out and walked back into the coffee shop. I felt my phone buzz as I got back behind the counter. I checked my texts and saw it was from Ryder, 'sounds promising;) see you at seven xx' I smirked before I put my phone away and served a customer.

2 hours later I finally finished my shift and was on the subway. After 10 minutes of having to put up with a man's (who quite clearly didn't shower often) armpit in my face. I got off the subway and was making my way to the library so I could finish my paper for my course.

It took 2 hours to finish my paper and I was now (finally) making my way out of the library. I decided to stay outside for a cigarette. I put the cigarette in between my lips whilst searching for my lighter, only to realise I must've lost it. Great… I thought to myself, "need a lighter?" I heard a voice come from behind me, I turned around and saw Ryder holding his lighter. "Are you following me?" I flirted, "what can I say, you're irresistible" he walked closer to me and lit my cigarette for me before lighting his own. "Looking forward to tomorrow?" I asked before taking another puff. "You know it" he said looking at me. I looked down and I blushed. We finished smoking our cigarettes in a comfortable silence.

I turned to face him, so that he was pushed against the wall and I pressed a sweet kiss on his neck, "so what are you doing now?" I asked, "I was going to go and get some studying done but… I think that can wait" he said before wrapping his arms around my waist and giving me a kiss. I moaned into the kiss before responding, "good answer" I whispered in his ear, "your place or mine?" He asked, "yours" I replied before we hailed a taxi and was on our way to his apartment.

Ryder scrambled with the key in his apartment door, we were too wrapped up in each other to focus on getting the key in the door. The door finally opened after what felt like 10 minutes. He went down to kiss my neck and I just about managed to hold in a moan. He then came back up to kiss my lips whilst I fiddled with his coat trying to get it off when we heard a cough coming from the couch, we broke apart to see what I assumed was Ryder's roommates, a blonde boy with the hugest mouth I'd ever seen and a black girl with their mouths wide open. "Sor-" I was in the middle of apologising before Ryder picked me up and I squealed as he carried me to his bedroom.

"I can't believe you just did that" I laughed at Ryder's eager behaviour. He gave me a chaste kiss, I moaned when he nibbled on my ear. I then finally was able to take off his coat, throwing it to the other side of the room. He lifted his shirt up and I saw his defined chest. My hands went down to fiddle with his belt, "you wear too many clothes" I said whilst trying to unbuckle his belt, we then broke apart as he kicked his shoes and socks off and he took of his trousers, leaving him in his boxers. He smirked before taking off my coat whilst pressing kisses all over my neck. I moaned again before I removed my skirt and tights. My hands went down to stroke his member. He groaned loudly before he removed my shirt. I kissed him again, this time opening my mouth so that our tongues could meet. He then ripped my panties off and I let out a loud moan, he removed my bra and I removed him boxers. Minutes after our tongues had explored the other's mouth. We were lying in bed and Ryder was paying attention to my left breast. He massaged it slowly before he took it into his mouth. "Ryder" I moaned, "what?" he asked innocently, "I need you in me" I moaned again. Seconds later he leaned up to kiss me passionately, I then decided to take over. I got on to of him pressing light kisses down his body, I then gave his dick a quick kiss and he moaned loudly. I smirked at the things I was doing to him before I then positioned myself on his member and sunk down. Both of our mouths made an 'O' expression and I then started to slowly move on him, before picking up my pace. Ryder than started to move, picking up the same rhythm.

"Marley!" Ryder growled my name as he began to reach his orgasm, "Oh fuck Ryder!" I moaned out, before leaning down to kiss him passionately whilst keeping our rhythm. I then reached my orgasm, screaming Ryder's name as I came down from my high. Ryder following seconds later. I then climbed off of Ryder, I laid by his side as we both calmed our breaths.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead as we lied in bed together. "Do you think your roommates heard us?" I asked "probably" he laughed, I jokingly slapped him. "That's not funny" "why are you smiling then?" he joked, I then laughed. "This is becoming quite a frequent thing. Us ending up in each others bed when we haven't even had a first date yet" I spoke up. Ryder gave a fake, offended expression, "I'm sorry. I didn't realise that was a bad thing" I laughed, "it's not. I love spending time in bed with you." I said, "same here" he said before leaning down to give me a kiss. We was then interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing, "sorry about that" I said before answering the call to see it was Rachel, "hello" "Marley, where are you?" "I'm with… someone." "I need your help! It's urgent please get here." I groaned, "I'll be there soon, bye."

"I've got to go. My roommate needs me." "It's fine" he replied. I looked around for my underwear but I couldn't find them. "Have you seen my underwear?" I asked, he got up searching for them. He then picked up a pair of torn panties. "You can borrow a pair of mine if you want" "yeah, if you don't mind." He gave me a pair of his American Apparel boxers and I giggled before I put them on. I then put on the rest of my clothes and walked out of the bedroom to see that thankfully the two from earlier were no longer there and that it was safe to walk out. I got to the door and Ryder spun me around to give me a sweet kiss. "Until tomorrow" he shot me a wink before I left the apartment building.

I arrived back home to see Rachel running around the flat frantically, "whats wrong?" I asked concerned, "nothing! Everything is perfect!" She exclaimed, "well then… What's going on?" "Finn's taking me to Mexico! I need your help packing" "Aww that's so sweet Rachel you're so lucky" "I know, I know but come on you're gonna have to help me!" She said before dragging me into her room.

"I'll see you soon guys, have an awesome time!" I said hugging Finn and Rachel. I waved them goodbye before I went back inside. A week to myself… Or not. This would be the perfect time to get Ryder to come round after our date. I was interrupted by my thoughts when I got a call from Santana, shit. I answered the call, "hello?" "Where are you?" It was certainly blatant. "At home" I replied. "I'm coming over" she said before she ended the call.

15 minutes later, Santana had invited herself in using the emergency key. "Want to explain to me why you left him on his own?" "Want to explain to me why you and Brittany were screwing each other in the nightclub toilets last night?" I smirked at her, proud of my witty comeback and suddenly Santana's cheeks were burning red because of the embarrassment.

"Harrison was giving me the creeps. Santana no offence to him but he just wasn't my type." Santana's face softened, "oh sorry, I didn't realise" "It's fine, you didn't know" I said softly, "if I had known he was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have left you alone with him." "Santana stop apologising, I'm fine anyways thats not what I wanted to tell you" Santana looked at me with a concerned expression on her face. "I hooked up with the bartender last night, he was amazing. I'm seeing him tomorrow night for a date." Santana smiled at me, "I don't mean to sound crazy but it feels like I've found someone who is just what I need right now. This is the first guy I've been with that has made me feel amazing and beautiful. I met him as well today outside the library just by coincidence. I feel so happy Santana." "I'm glad babe. You deserve someone special." I smiled "thank you" I said before giving her a hug. This is why I loved Santana. She always knew what to say, even though everyone thought she was a backstabbing bitch. Only Rachel, Ally, Brittany and me knew the real Santana. "When did you say the date was?" She asked, "tomorrow night" I replied. "What are you going to wear?" "I'm not sure yet" "You can borrow one of my dresses. Get him drooling over those puppies" she said pointing at my cleavage. "Santana!" "What?" She said laughing.

The following night had finally come it was 5:30 and Santana had just finished straightening my hair. "Is all this necessary?" I asked, "Marley Amelia Rose! You didn't just say that" I heard a knock on the door. "That'll be Brittany" Ally said before going to answer the door. She came back into my room with Brittany. "Hey babe" Santana said before giving her a kiss. "I got the dress you asked for Santana" "Thanks babe" Santana replied before taking the cover off to show me. "What do you think?" "It's gorgeous, thanks you two" I said before hugging them both. "Before we get you in that dress lets start your makeup." Brittany said like an excited school girl.

They finally finished my makeup and it was now 18:15. I put my dress on and got Ally to zip it up because Santana and Brittany were busy sucking each others faces in Rachel's room and me and Ally heard loud moans coming from them.

Me and Ally were talking in the living room, waiting for time to go by. Santana and Brittany came in with messy hair and creased clothes and I giggled at the pair of them. "Someone looks good!" They both said in unison. "Thank you" I replied. I was wearing a dark navy peplum dress that had a dark electric blue stripe on the peplum. The dress cut by the neck showing some cleavage but not too much. There was a strap going across the top of my chest. I had grey pointed heels on with straps on them.

Suddenly the door bell rang. I walked to the door not realising there was a crowd following me to the door until I opened it. Ryder gave a wide eyed expression before stuttering his words, "h-hi" "he's cute" I heard a voice say from behind me. "Guys do you mind?" I whispered agitated to my friends, "we best get going anyway" Santana and Brittany said. "Have fun! And use protection!" Santana giggled, fucking bitch. They finally left and it was just me and Ryder stood at the front door. "I got you these" he said holding up a bunch of peonies, "thank you" I blushed before I gave him a sweet kiss. "I'll just go put these in some water." I said before walking into the kitchen to see Ally stood there. "I'll sort these out, don't worry about it. I'll be off soon anyway." "You sure?" I asked, "yes! Now go get some Marley!" I laughed at her before we exchanged our goodbyes and I was back to being by Ryder's side.

We were in the cab enjoying a comfortable silence when Ryder whispered in my ear, "you look beautiful tonight" "you don't look so bad yourself" I whispered into his ear and he smiled before putting his arm around me and I leaned into him.

10 minutes later we arrived at the restaurant, after we were seated we was given a fancy menu. We ordered our food and then began to talk. "I don't even know where to start. We got to know each other quite well the other night" he smirked. "Well what do you want to know?" he asked. We spoke for 20 minutes before our food came, it felt so natural and normal talking to Ryder. It felt like I've known him my whole life.  
We were now outside of my apartment with our bodies wrapped around each others kissing passionately, I then opened my apartment door and started to take off Ryder's clothes. Seconds later our shoes were off, he was shirtless and my dress was now hanging around my waist, we continued walking backwards whilst being too wrapped up in each other when I heard a loud intended cough. I suddenly broke apart from Ryder and spun around, shocked at the person who was before me. "MOM" I shouted, shocked. I turned away from her too ashamed to look at her, I looked up to Ryder who was still shirtless which is then when I realised that my dress was half way down me. I pulled up my dress and whispered to Ryder agitated, "put your shirt on." He then found his shirt before walking back over to me, "I-I'll go make some coffees" he said to me before speed walking into the kitchen area. I looked up to see my mother giving me a look of disapproval.

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter:)**

**Please leave reviews**

**Tasha **


	3. Chapter 3

**Can I just apologise for not updating for the past 3 months, I've been busy with my GCSE's and work experience and it didn't help that I had a severe case of writer's block**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter, It's definitely not my best as I'm trying to get back into writing after not doing so for 12 weeks. It's a bit boring but don't worry it'll get better.**

**Tasha **

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**Marley's P.O.V**

I took slow steps over to the sofa to sit beside my mom. "So what are you doing here?" I asked nonchalantly as if just seconds ago my own mother hadn't seen me half naked with someone. She looked at me and raised her eyebrow not answering my question. "What are you playing at?" She asked, "you're the one that just barged into my house." "You mean apartment" she said correcting me. I sighed, "mom please don't be like this" "don't be like what Marley? I came here to visit you and to see how you are getting on with your studies and I find you half dressed with some random" she said agitated. I stayed silent not bothering to waste my breath on her.

I got up from the sofa and made my way into the kitchen. I saw Ryder looking around the kitchen, frowning. I giggled at his expression, "need a hand?" I already found myself starting to relax. "Where's the sugar?" He asked, I walked over to the cupboard and handed him the sugar, "here" "thanks" he smiled before leaning over to press a kiss to my cheek and I smiled, "is everything okay?" He asked, "yeah" I replied, too quickly. He must have noticed because he gave a small sympathetic smile. "I need to have a talk with my mom in private." "Yeah sure babe that's fine" he smiled at me. We walked out of the kitchen area and I showed Ryder out, "I'll ring you soon, promise" I put my around his neck and he placed his arms around my waist. "You better" I joked before leaning up to give him a kiss on the lips.

We eventually pulled apart, "bye" we said in unison.

I closed the door before I sighed realising that I now had to deal with my mom. I went back into the kitchen and got the coffees, I walked back into the lounge area to see my mom fixing her coat and putting on her bag. "Where are you going?" I asked, "I can tell when I'm not wanted." she agitated. She didn't say another word to me before walking out of my flat. I rolled my eyes before pouring her coffee down the sink and going to get changed into my pyjamas.

After I got changed, I went onto the balcony and took out a cigarette. I tried to push out the thoughts of my mom but I couldn't do it, I knew I had let her down again.

All I ever wanted was to make my mom happy and proud of me, but it never was enough. She never paid any attention towards me.

Ryder's P.O.V

I just left Marley's and I was about to hail a cab, I reached down in my pocket making sure I had enough money before getting into the taxi. I sighed when I realised that it must've fallen out at Marley's, I took a slow walk back to her flat, hoping that if I walked slow enough her mom would be gone.

Marley's P.O.V

I finished my coffee and went back inside the kitchen to wash up.

After I put them in the dishwater, I got a bottle of wine and sat down on the couch, I poured myself a (large) glass and downed it in one. I poured myself another glass and downed it again. I then heard a knock on the door. I staggered to the door and saw Ryder on the other side, "someone's eager" I slurred.

Ryder's P.O.V

I laughed at her before I frowned, "are you drunk?" I asked, "you should be a detective" she joked. "Where's your mom?" I asked, "gone" she said frankly, "gone where?" "she left just after you… Come in, have a drink" she said excited. I let her drag me into the apartment. "Are you okay?" I asked concerned, "yeah of course" she said quickly. I knew she was lying. "What brings you here anyway?" She asked trying to change the conversation, "I left my wallet. Babe are you sure your okay?" She looked over to me and slowly shook her head, I walked over to her and gave her a hug. "What happened?" I asked, "I just feel like she doesn't even care about me" she slurred, "I mean all I've ever tried to be is a good daughter and she doesn't even care" she said. I looked down not knowing what to say to her. I looked up when I heard sniffles. "no, hey don't cry." I leaned over and gave her a hug, "babe she's not worth it" I spoke soothingly. I took her face in my hand and smiled at her. She leaned in to kiss me and I moved away from her. "Not now Marley." I said, she gave a sad nod before she spoke up. "You should probably go." She whispered, "are you going to be okay on your own?" I asked concerned, "yeah, I'm gonna go to bed now anyway" I started to search the flat for my wallet.

After I found my wallet, I said my goodbye to Marley and made my way out of the apartment.

Marley's P.O.V

God what was wrong with me. I'm so stupid. I was interrupted by my thoughts when Santana called me. "H-hello?" I said, "hey, how was it?" she joked, she must've heard my quiet cries because she suddenly became alert. "Marley? Are you okay? Whats happened? I'm coming over, don't move." I didn't get a word in before she hung up the phone.

15 minutes later Santana arrived and she used the spare key. She came rushing over to me and gave me a hug and I sobbed.

After I calmed down, Santana was stroking my hair as she spoke softly, "so what happened?" "Mom turned up out of the blue. I told Ryder to go so I could talk to her… She left within minutes, saying that she can tell when she's not wanted." "I'm sorry Marls." "All I could think about was how dare she say that. She doesn't know what that feels like. To feel alone and unwanted." I cried. "Ryder came back afterwards and I tried to kiss him but he didn't want me. He said now wasn't the time." "He probably didn't mean it like that." Santana spoke softly, "of course he did, I mean what else did I expect? How can I expect him to want me?" I asked hurt. "Marl-" She was cut off by my crying, "I just want to feel important to someone. I want to feel chosen." "I know" she said softly.

I don't understand how this day started so well but ended up awful. I finally gave into sleep and fell asleep on the sofa with Santana.

I woke up that morning with a hangover from hell. I looked around to a note on the side.

'I have to go to work, come round later have a surprise for you, Aunt Snix xoxo

P.S Hope you're feeling better'

I smiled at the letter before I frowned thinking of the previous day's events…

FUCK

I got out of the shower still feeling ashamed at my behaviour from last night. I looked at my phone, checking for new texts. As I scanned my phone I went wide-eyed to see I had a text message from Ryder.

'Hey Marley, just wanted to see how you was, I hope you're feeling better since last night. Give me a call so we can rearrange our date;)

Ryder x'

I sighed heavily before I locked my phone, ignoring him and continued to get ready for work.

"Marley! A customer is waiting!" Louis shouted, "I was about to go on break, can't you do it?" I whined, Louis looked over to me and his eyes were almost bulging out of his head, "customer. Now" he said sternly, I rolled my eyes before walking to the counter, "welcome, may I please take your coffee order" I said vacantly, not bothering to look up. "A Cappuccino please baby" I frowned ready to slap this dickhead that had just patronised me. I slammed the coffee glass on the table before looking up. My facial expression suddenly turned into a smile, "Ryder, hi" memories of last night came flashing back to me. "You've been ignoring me" He said confused but still had his sexy smirk on his face. "It was a hectic morning, I didn't have time." "You didn't have time to reply to a text?" He said confused, "I just wanted to check on how you was from last night, we left things kind of awkward…" "I'm fine, I just act up when I drink too much wine" I spluttered out, "just ignore me" I joked it off. He paused studying my face before responding, "if you're sure… I'd love to take you out, or you know stay in and finish up from last time…" He leaned over the counter whispering the last part in my ear. "I'm busy" I said brushing him off and started to prepare his coffee, "I haven't said when ye-" "Like I said super busy with college and stuff, I'll see you around, yeah?" He nodded slowly "yeah, bye" he took the cup from my hand and walked out of the shop. I watched him walk out the shop before I took my apron off and went for a cigarette break.


	4. Chapter 4

Marley's P.O.V

It had been 4 days since Ryder came to see me at work, he texted me a couple of times but I just ignored him. I tried too at least, but I couldn't let him near me. I let him get too close, too quickly.I messed it up as usual. "Marley what are you thinking about?" Santana questioned, I flinched, removing my gaze outside the car window, to focus on Santana and give a faint smile, "nothing" I spoke softly almost in a whisper.

Santana's P.O.V

I hated seeing Marley like this, it was so frustrating especially because she liked the guy so much. I hated that she felt the need to push him away when she felt rejected. All because of her idiotic mother and that asswipe. She jumped when I asked her what she was thinking about. Even though, I already knew the answer to it. "Nothing" she said quietly. Lies, I thought to myself, absolute lies. I turned my attention back on to the road. I decided to change topic, "looking forward to dwarf coming back?" I said trying to cheer her up, she gave a small giggle, "yeah, I've missed her" "I've decided we're going to take them out tonight" "What? Santana no." She whined, "Listen to me, I am not having you locked up in that apartment any longer, you're too good to be upset about a boy you shagged twice." "San-" "Marley, you're my girl okay and I get that you've been through a lot which is why the girls want to help you okay?" "Thank you" "It's okay" I smiled.

Ryder's P.O.V

I don't get why she was acting so distant, she had been the first girl in ages, I actually liked and I could've seen it turn into something so much more. It was even worse when Sam constantly had his girlfriend Mercedes over. It was like he rubbing salt in my wounds. This girl had me so frustrated, she was never out my head. I sent her a few texts but she didn't seem to care. If she was embarrassed about the other week, she shouldn't be I mean everyone has off days. I hope she wasn't scared off, maybe I did something? "Dude, are you okay? You've been so distant lately" Sam said blankly as he continued to stare at the TV whilst playing FIFA" Why oh why am I roommates with an 11 year old? "I'm fine, just been thinking" "Okay well can you think out of the apartment because 'Cedes is coming over and we want some alon-" "whatever" I rolled my eyes before grabbing my coat and picking up some coursework that was due next week, "I've got work to finish off for the course." I said before leaving the apartment, slamming the door behind me.

Marley's P.O.V

"I've missed you so much" Rachel exclaimed, "I've missed you too" I smiled at her whilst she continued to unpack her things back at the apartment, "more importantly though, look at your tan! You look super hot" I said, "thanks babe" she smiled. "Anyways how are things with you and Rick?" "You mean Ryder and what about me and Ryder?" "Whatever and don't start acting bashful with me, especially when I heard your sweet music from last week" "Number one that's disgusting and two me and Ryder… Well easiest way to say it is that we're not on speaking terms…" "What? Oh my god babe I'm so sorry" "It's fine honestly, things were heating up too quickly" I finished the sentence quietly feeling my voice start to croak and a single tear rolled down my cheek. "Hey Marls don't get upset over him, he's a douchebag." "That's the problem. He's not a douchebag, he's amazing but I let my past get in the way as per usual." "Marley it's totally understandable okay, you can not blame yourself for having your walls up after everything you've been through" I nodded looking down as tears were rolling down my face. "Please just let me help you, you can't just keep living in the past" she pleaded, "you can't help me Rachel this is something that I have to get through on my own." "I need to show you how amazing you are." I continued to cry, "babe listen to me, you're going to be okay, you're so strong and you should be so proud of yourself for coming so far already." "I'm not strong Rachel, not like you" "You are Marley" "Rachel I'm not" I jested through tears before continuing, "evidently I'm not considering how foolish I've been in the past" I weeped, "well Marley I'm telling you, you can be." She cleared her throat before continuing, "If you can get through an a-" "Don't say the word, Rachel please, it's bad enough that I have to wake up everyday knowing how much I hurt everyone okay?" I cried, "I've been to hell and back Rachel, I mean all I've ever wanted was to have someone that loved me and when I was on my date with Ryder, I thought 'hey maybe he could be that guy' you know?" "So let him be that guy!" "No I can't, I let him in too quickly Rachel and I can't risk someone leaving me again." "Babe come here" she opened her arms and I sobbed on her shoulder as she squeezed me tight. "It's gonna be okay Marley, I promise." Rachel whispered as I sobbed on her bed. We eventually pulled away, "now listen wipe those tears away because, tonight is our girls night!" "Girls night with your boyfriend?" I questioned now giving a faint smile after I calmed down, "Finn can wait besides I've missed my favourite roommate" I laughed, "I'm your only roommate Rach" "Come on babe will find you something hot to wear, okay?" She stood up giving me a big smile. This is why I loved Rachel, don't get me wrong Santana was great but she was also intimidating and Ally was too involved after all she was there to witness everything that happened when I was struggling. Rachel had never judged me for what I did in the past and she loved me and I loved her. Unfortunately though it was never enough, I couldn't turn back time and change my actions, if I could I would have done already.

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**Hmm... What is Marley hiding?;)**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter:)**

**Tash xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

Guess who's just come out from 10 months hibernation from this website?

Guys I'm so sorry if you were enjoying this story or any of my others as I promised I would update but Year 11 happened and GCSEs had me stressed to the max but I'm finished, I now have two months off and I have all the time to start writing again (I'd forgotten how good it felt)

I'll try to update my other stories too

Sorry if my grammar is shitty I'm excited to publish this yet also so fucking tired but I need to publish this now!

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Marley's P.O.V

I sat by the bar playing with my glass, wishing I could be back at home right now, I was only here for Rachel. "Marley come on!" I heard Rachel shout as she tugged on my arm, I rolled my eyes before I picked up my glass and got hauled over to the dance floor with Rachel. "Dance with me!" She giggled whilst jumping up and down, "I'm not in the mood okay?" Rachel dancing came to a halt and she gave me a sympathetic pout. Santana walked over to us and put her arm around me, "how are my girls?" She slurred, I rolled my eyes at her before shrugging her arm off me and then walked back to the bar. "Marley" I heard San calling my name faintly, "Vodka, soda and lime please" I asked the bartender kindly. "What is going on with you? Why are you acting like this?" "What is it with the 20 questions?" I said agitated, "you know what Marley, I'm sick of you getting so wound up over everything, the past is the past… GET OVER IT!" She exclaimed causing a few people at the bar to look at us. She took a deep breath before walking over to Rachel. I took my vodka and downed it one.

"I'm gonna go home Rach I'm sorry" I cried before walking back to the bar placing my glass on the counter before walking out of the club, ignoring San and Rachel calling me. As I walked out of the club I heard a familiar voice "oh my god, Marley come over here!" I turned around seeing Jamie standing there, "long time no see" he joked, I awkwardly nodded refusing to look him in the eye, in fear of him seeing me crying. "What's wrong?" He asked, "nothing, look Jamie it was really nice talking but I really have to go" "Marls, I know you okay which means I know when something is wrong… Do you want to talk about it?" I gave a slow nod before he put his arm around me and we hailed a cab back to his place.

"Are you gonna tell me what's up then babe?" He asked whilst lighting up my cigarette. "Don't call me that" I blushed as I blew out my smoke. "Anyways I don't want to talk about it with you of all people" "Hey!" he joked, I ducked my head and giggled, "I'm sorry J, it's just about this guy and I don't really want to get into detail about it with my ex's best friend" "Best not then" He said frowning, looking down. "You seemed like you were in a rush to get out of the club, was someone hassling you?" "Yeah there names are Rachel and Santana" I said agitated, "are they okay with us hanging out?" he asked, "You know after what happened?" "Hmm doubt it, but I'm past caring what they think, they're not important to me right now… You are though" I looked up to him smirking, "wanna go out? I'm not having them ruin my night." "Are you sure thats wise? We both know how bad things can get, just look at last time" "That was last time Jamie! Jeez why did you have to bring that up?" I said angrily, "I'm sorry Marls, I didn't mean it" I put my hand on my head and frowned, frustrated at myself for taking it out on Jamie, "no I'm sorry J, its not your fault, you've always been there for me" I began to get tearful, "e-even af-after what happened to St-" "Shh baby don't cry, it wasn't your fault what happened to him. No one forced him to do that! Okay babe, no one!" Now wipe those tears away we're going clubbing" I smiled at his words before dusting myself off and heading out again, this time with Jamie. "Babe I know this great venue…" he exclaimed as we got into the cab.

Me and J spent the whole journey talking about our old friendship group avoiding the elephant in the room which wa- 'WOO WE'RE HERE BABY!" Jamie said interrupting my thoughts. I got out of the cab and looked up at the venue, my smile almost automatically dropped. "Babe I know one of the bouncers so we'll be able to go straight through. "J are you serious?" His cheeky smile dropped, "this is where the guy works." That 'guy' being Ryder. "Oh shit…" He paused. "We just wont hang around the bar babe it'll be fine" his smile arose again. I gave a slow nod. Jamie spoke to the bouncer and we got in. "I'll get the drinks" he said before pressing a kiss to my cheek. I got us a table, I glanced over at the bar and noticed that Ryder wasn't working that night. I decided that I would go over to the bar to see to Jamie. I tapped him on the shoulder "babe I told you I'd get the drink-" "he's not working tonight" I said, relieved "cheers bub" he smirked raising a glass.

Ryder's P.O.V

I really wasn't in the mood for working, I rolled my eyes as I exited the club toilets and made my way back to behind the bar, when I noticed a familiar brunette, I got giddy when I noticed it was Marley and ran straight up to her. "Marls you're here!" She turned around and her smile dropped. She grabbed her friends hand, at least I hoped it was just a friend, and ran out.

Marley's P.O.V

When I saw Ryder, I put my glass down and grabbed Jamie's hand, almost running out of the club. "Babe, I hadn't finished my drink" "It was him, can we go back to yours, please" "Yeah babe of course"

When we finally got back to Jamie's, I went to sit on the sofa and he went into the kitchen to make me a cup of tea. He came back and put it on the coffee table. "Babe?" "Mmm" I responded, "I know you said you didn't want to talk about it but… what is that he's done that is so bad?" "**He **didn't do anything. He's the first guy I've really liked since Stevie. And things were good with Ryder y'know? He made me feel really special even though we didn't meet in what would be considered perfect" I took a deep breath. "But mom came to visit and it just brought everything back up and I don't want to hurt Ryder, I don't want him to end up like Stevie, listening to Ryder talk he has so many ambitions and he has so much going for him, just like Stevie but if I got in the way, I would mess things up and he would hate me or even worse, something could happen to him" I began to sob and Jamie put his arm around me, "Listen to me, what happened with Stevie is not going to happen again. Ever okay? You need to forget about Stevie and what happened okay? You have so much going for you okay, you don't need your mom screwing things up for you. Marley you're going to be a vet. M'kay thats awesome! You're awesome! Don't let her make you feel guilty you tried your hardest with Stevie and you did your best for **her** too." I nodded slowly not really believing what he was saying. "Do you want to stay here tonight?" he spoke gently, "yeah please" "okay I'll go get some blankets, we can have a movie night like the whole gang used to do back when we were 15" he said all giddy. I giggled as he went into the bedroom.

I had to use the bathroom and when I got in there I looked at my locket in the mirror, I lifted it up to my lips and pressed a soft, precious kiss. "I love you both so much." "Marley hurry up, you need to help me pick a movie!" "Coming!" I shouted, "Now JJ anything BUT action!" I laughed.

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What do you think of Jamie?

Hmm what is Marley hiding? and who is '**her'?**

**Time will tell...**

Leave me a review

Tash xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Jamie's P.O.V**

I crept into the spare room and saw Marley was still fast asleep snoring lightly, I slowly walked up to the bedside table and reached for her phone. I searched through her contacts until I saw the one I was looking for. I saw Marley stir slightly and I held my breath as I waited mere moments for her to settle again and took a breath before I opened the chat and started typing into the phone.

'Hey Ryder, I know I've been acting really distant lately and I owe you an explanation, I was hoping you could meet me at my work for coffee at 11? If mean if thats okay with you, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't turn up because of the way I've been acting lately and sorry for this being last minute. I'll see you there, I hope xx'

I typed into the phone wanting to make the text sound as much like Marley as possible. I ran my eyes over the text torn as to whether I should send it or not. I shook my head before following my instincts and before I knew it I had pressed send.

I put her phone in my pocket incase he replied and cleared my throat before placing a smile on my face and jumping onto the bed that Marley was sleeping on. "Babe wake up" I shook her gently.

**Marley's P.O.V**

"Babe" I heard Jamie whisper, "what?" I said in a groggy tone, "you need to wake up" "what time is it?" I groaned, "it's just gone 9" "JJ this is my first day in ages where I haven't had to work or had college!" I whined, "exactly, I wanna treat my best friend" he said smiling, I dragged my head up from the pillow and returned the smile. "Now get ready! we've got a busy day ahead of us!" he exclaimed as he left the bedroom. I got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. I found myself staring at my reflection as I brushed my teeth, remembering the events of last night, talking to Jamie helped, I just wish I would've been able to tell Ryder what I told Jamie. I really like Ryder but I messed it up and even if I went back to him he would want an explanation and I'm not ready to explain myself to him, he would run a mile. I took a deep breath after I finished brushing my teeth before removing my clothing and stepping into the shower. My shower left me feeling refreshed like last night didn't happen, I still had this massive weight on my shoulders about Ryder, Stevie and m- "Marls did you want a coffee?" I heard Jamie shout as I stood in the bathroom wrapped in a towel with my damp hair. "No thanks" I cleared my throat before I walked back into the bedroom to dry my hair and get changed. I walked into the bedroom and checked my phone for the first time that morning to see if Ryder had sent me any texts, nothing. I sighed before going to dry my hair.

**Jamie's P.O.V**

When Marley was in the shower, Ryder had texted back and I saw that he had agreed to meet up. I smiled that part one of my plan had worked and I deleted the texts and placed Marley's phone back by the bed. As I heard the shower head turn off I shouted over to Marley if she wanted a coffee.

**Marley's P.O.V**

After we finished getting ready we hailed a cab and I heard Jamie mumble the address to the driver. "Where are we off to first then?" I smiled sweetly at him. "We're going to get coffee at your work" "So much for a day off" I whined. "Don't worry Marls we'll get it in a to-go cup, anyway we're only going because of your discount" he said all giddy, I frowned wondered why he was acting so excitable. I decided to brush past that and just joked back "okay but two cups of coffee don't cost a fortune J" we stayed in a comfortable silence for the rest of the journey.

Jamie paid the driver and we walked into the coffee shop, I saw that there was no sign of Louis, my irritating manager, instead my co-worker Ella was there. I gave her a smile as I walked over to her, I gave her mine and Jamie's order, "can we have that in please" Jamie asked Ella, I frowned "I thought we were getting them to go?" I questioned, "yeah well its nice and quiet in here may as well sit down and enjoy our coffee" "I suppose…" I said slowly. Ella gave me a smile before turning around to make the drinks.

Whilst Ella made my coffee, I turned around glancing over the coffee shop when I saw Ryder walk in. "I guess I'll leave you to it" Jamie said smirking whilst walking to one of the bar stools making small talk to Ella who was just finishing off the coffees. I took a deep breath before walking over to Ryder, he gave a small smile. "what are you doing here?" I questioned, "you texted me" he stated simply, I frowned before turning round to look at Jamie who wasn't the only person who had a sly look on their face, Ella now did too. Ryder gave a short laugh however I don't think he thought this was very funny, "Do you know what Marley? I didn't come here to be part of some kind of comedy act, you said you wanted to explain yourself okay? If you're not gonna do that and you just brought me here to have a joke with your friends, you've had it" "I didn't know you were gonna be here honestly, Jamie must've texted you, okay can we just sit down and I'm ready to talk" I said lying, there was no way at all I was ready to talk but Ryder seemed to be at the end of his tether and I didn't want to risk losing him. Ryder gave a slow nod and I walked over to a table in the corner as he went to get a drink and in the meanwhile brought mine over that Ella made earlier.

I cleared my throat, "I'm just gonna get straight to it Ryder, okay I have a past and I'm not proud of it. And because of that past its changed me as a person and because of that past I never let a guy come too close because of what happened" I took a deep breath and Ryder placed his hand on mine. "I really like you Ryder and I know it sounds stupid but you… The way I feel about you, I haven't felt for a long, long time. So when my mom turned up that night, it just brought all this stuff back up" "what stuff?" "If I told you you'd run a mile" I stated half joking half serious. "Marl-" "No Ryder I'm sorry but I can't right now just please trust me" i felt tears start to fill up my eyes. "How can I trust you Marley when you won't tell me what's wrong with you" he spoke softly, "I don't want you thinking bad of me" I replied. "I'd never think that… Marls please tell me. Did this guy cheat on you? Because I would never do that to you" he asked oblivious to the truth, it was almost sweet at how innocent and oblivious he was. I pulled my hand away from Ryder's to wipe my eyes. I looked down, not wanting to look him in the eye, before replying "yeah, it was" I lied. "I would never cheat on you, I really like you okay don't be ridiculous" I gave a slow nod before stifling a laugh "yeah you're right I was just being stupid" I felt bad lying to him but I was scared he wouldn't like me anymore so I just had to let him believe that for now.

Ryder and I talked for a bit longer after I had 'explained' myself, we were now back to normal laughing and joking about everything under the sun. He went to use the bathroom, he gave me a sweet kiss before walking to the toilets. Jamie came over smirking and I gave him a stern look. "Now now babe theres no need to look at me like that." I just rolled my eyes, "did it not feel good to be honest with him?" he teased, "I wouldn't know" I stated giving him a blank expression. Jamie sighed deeply, "you didn't tell him did you? Marley he deserves to know!" He exclaimed, "you don't even know him okay Jamie, I will tell him okay but in my own time" Jamie frowned, "what did you think I would drop the bomb about her did you?" I laughed, "I've been one on date with him, so from now on stay out of my business and stay out of my life." I saw Ryder now walking back over and I cleared my throat before shooting him a smile, "Wanna head off?" I asked Ryder, "err yeah sounds good" he smiled, "Good we've got a lot of catching up to do" I teased, walking up to him and giving him a short, chaste kiss. I took Ryder by the hand and walked out leaving without a goodbye to Jamie who just sat there not saying a word as Ryder and I walked out arm in arm. I felt bad lying to him and I didn't want to hurt him but my past is my past. It's no ones business but mine. Ryder interrupted my thoughts as he pulled me close and gave me a long, passionate kiss which I reciprocated. When we broke apart a bit breathless, he spoke up, "my place?" he questioned "you read my mind" I joked before we hailed a cab eager to get back to his place.

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Please leave reviews I like to know what you all think

Tash x


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